Unintended
by wrecking
Summary: Set six months after Eclipse. Edward and Bella are married, and Bella is a new born vampire. Bella is struggling with her own demons and Edward's trying his best to tend to her. Edward/Bella Jasper/Alice
1. Part One

I could feel his eyes boring into me, like daggers piercing my skin. I knew he was upset, could feel his anger. I was determined to not give in this time, it wasn't my fault. If he'd kept better watch, or didn't trust me as much. It was clear that I wasn't the type to be trusted when it came to my own wants, needs, and desires. I was a monster now; he had to accept that I wasn't the same girl I once was.

"Will you just look at me, please?" Edward's voice was like a hammer in the thick tension in the room. His footfalls were slow and quiet, like he thought I wouldn't hear him.

I turned my head to face him, seeing the distraught look on his face and sighing, "I don't know what to say." And I didn't, I had no idea how you resolved a fight like this. Was I supposed to apologize? I could promise it wouldn't happen again, but that would be a deep, dark lie. I can't lie to him.

"You don't have to say anything. I'm not angry, not at you. You didn't have a ch-"

I cut him off. "How are you _not_ angry?" My words spit out like venom. "You should be furious! It isn't like I accidentally left the front door unlocked, Edward. I _killed_ someone! Someone with a family, friends, hopes, dreams. I took their life and you're acting as if I broke a dish!"

His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose and I knew that I was setting his temper off. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the nearby wall. "Bella…," he looked into my eyes. "You want me to scream at you, tell you all the things that you already know. We both know you're a monster, so am I. We are the creatures they make horror films about. But, I have a handicap when it comes to you. I've already talked to Carlisle about this and he thinks we need to go back to Alaska for a while, maybe even farther north. Just until-"

"Until what? I stop wanting to kill people? Does that really ever end, Edward? You say that I didn't know what I was doing. But, I did! I knew it every second it was happening. From the moment I caught her scent, to the last drop I drank of her blood. I was aware what I was doing and it didn't bother me. _That's_ what I'm afraid of. The truth that I can't be like you, that I'll always crave the flesh of a human over… over.. _us_." I wished I could cry, it would have eased the tension in my chest. My stomach lurched at where this conversation was going to lead. Knowing that I'd have to leave him, knowing that there was nothing I could do to better this situation, and knowing that my last words to him would be bitter and angry.

His knees seemed to buckle, but if I didn't have the sight I had, I might have missed it. His hands closed themselves around his arms. I tried to meet his eyes, but he'd closed his lids and I could almost hear his thoughts as they ran through his mind at lightning speed. I needed to hear him speak, but dreaded what he was going to tell me.

"I know you love me." It almost sounded like a question.

"You know I do, just as I know you love me, too." My voice faltered at the last syllable.

"Where do we go from here, then? Do you want me to yell at you? Will that make this okay, will that make you stay?"

I crossed my arms in front of my stomach, remembering the last time I'd done this. The feeling in the pit of my abdomen was very familiar, and most definitely not welcome. The emotions threatened to pull me apart, but I wouldn't let them. "You know what has to be done."

"I'm not doing that, Bella. I refuse to; I don't care what I promised you. I just can't, I can't do that to you." He was referring to the promise I'd made him agree to. I knew I wasn't going to take to the Cullens' way of living very easily, but in the chance that I never did, I made him promise to take care of me. I didn't want to wander the earth killing others with abandon. I wanted a clean end, and he promised he'd grant me that if I became too much to bear.

"I don't want to die, Edward; if only because I'd be without you. But, I don't like the odds. I don't like who I am anymore. I'm not Bella, I'm a horrible monster. Please…"

"No. You just need more time, more training. We can do this, Bella. Don't give up, yet. Please, please. For me, please."

I was in his arms before I could hear the final words. I didn't want this to be the end: the end of us, the end of me. I knew in the deepest parts of myself that I wanted things to work out. I wanted the life he wanted for us. If I didn't try just a little harder, he would always blame himself. He never wanted this for me, and I now understood why. I had to make a choice: to live for blood, or for my love.

---

My thirst was insatiable, my throat burned and I could hear every heart within a few blocks. They all beckoned me, calling to my instinct. Begging me to hunt them down, make them my meal. I couldn't, I had to ignore them. I wasn't doing this for myself, not even for the innocent victims that called out to me. I was doing this for Edward, because he believed in me.

"Bella, how are you feeling?" his voice was almost a whisper, as if the slightest jarring noise would break my control. His eyes were full of despair, he was so worried and there wasn't anything I could do to console him.

I closed my eyes as his hands traced the shape of my face. His touch was cooling, freeing. I welcomed it and leaned into his arms. I felt him close in around me and I breathed in his scent. I wanted to move away, make it easier when the inevitable happened; when I had to leave him and break him in two. As much as I wanted to break our embrace, I couldn't. I craved his attention and his closeness. He was my home, and everything that I'd ever wanted. If I left him, I wouldn't survive long on my own. And I knew he wouldn't either.

---

"Edward, I can't stand it anymore! Just do what you promised." My voice sounded thin and strained, which was how I'd felt for weeks. I was trying too hard to be so many things. I couldn't control anything and I was hurting everyone around me with my desires.

"I can't do that, Bella! Why can't you just… just..." He trailed off and turned to face the door. "Someone's here. Go to the bedroom."

"I don't want to be alone."

"You have to be, just go, Bella. Go!" A growl escaped his lips and it was the first time I was truly scared of him. His eyes were black and full of rage.

He lifted me from the couch and threw me into the bedroom. The doors slammed so hard, I was sure they were going to fly off the hinges.

"Don't leave this room, Bella." He yelled as he pushed furniture in front of the doors.

That's when I smelled them. My eyes closed as my nose turned toward the ceiling. God, they smelled delicious. It was like they were sent just for me. A hearty lunch, and possibly dinner, was just footsteps from my grasp. I couldn't help the growls that rumbled in my chest. I _wanted_ them, wanted them more than Edward, more than sex, more than anything.

I was quiet and tried to hear their voices, but heard only Edward's. He was politely asking them to leave, telling them we wouldn't need anything today. There were mumbles, sighs, and angry tones. I didn't understand why I couldn't hear what was going on; was I so thirsty that my senses had started to fail me?

The front door slammed, hard and forceful. I could hear Edward's growls and curses through the walls. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it couldn't be good news. The conversation had seemed so innocent, but Edward was livid. What had been said?

Just then, the doors to the bedroom were ripped open, sending the door knobs crashing to the floor. He looked at me like prey, as if I were the humans that we both desired, but never spoke of. I couldn't read his expression. He was upset, but sad… angered but calm. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen, his face seemed almost foreign. I was terrified.

"I sicken myself." His voice was like a blade, cutting through my skin.

"Edward, what's wrong?" My eyes widened, welcoming an answer.

He sat down next to me on the bed and put his head in my lap. I didn't know what to do; I'd never seen him this way. He was so vulnerable, not like the Edward I knew at all.

"Bella, I don't know what to do. I didn't think it would be this difficult. I haven't fed in weeks to attend to you easier. I almost went too far, I could hear their blood pumping through their warm bodies and could nearly taste…" he looked up at me and his face fell. "I haven't been this out of control since I… you know..."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. This is all me. I'm a burden, Edward. I'm making you become someone you don't want to be." I wanted to end everything. I wanted everything to be like before. I wanted to be human again, but knew that this was only a dream.

"This is what love is about. It's about conquering fears and rising over adversity. I believe in us. I _have_ to believe in us, enough for us both. I don't know that you do anymore."

"I do, Edward, I do. We'll get through this. It just takes time, and we both have plenty of that." My attempt to lighten the mood was futile, at best. Edward continued to look at the wall, and I was stroking his hair, lacing my fingers between his golden locks.

I wasn't sure what to think, how to respond to his desperation. I loved him; I knew that more than anything. But, could we really weather through this? It wasn't like usual marital problems. We weren't worrying about money or what color to paint the guest room. This was a matter of life and death, of right and wrong, good and evil. And we were in it together, both damned to the same eternity.

---

"Bella, it's time." I lifted my head from the pillows, resting never sleeping. My feet in front of me, doubt behind, I reached for Edward's hand and held my breath.

It was late in the evening, or early in the morning, depended on who you asked. Edward knew that there wouldn't be as many people around at this hour, knew that this would be the perfect time to take me hunting. It had been over a week and I was on fire. My throat was burning; my stomach would spin at the faint sound of a heartbeat. Nothing had changed, I felt the same now as when I was freshly turned.

We were in the car and Edward had put on Debussy. This was his calming music, what he put on when he needed to relax. I recognized this immediately and tried to comfort him. "I think I'm getting better, I didn't feel the urge at all today."

He only nodded his head and kept his eyes on the road, driving over a hundred miles per hour on small side roads. I wanted to grab his face, beg him to forgive me. He was miserable and regretting that he'd turned me. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his breathing. Everything was labored and difficult. I hated myself, hated what I was, and what I wanted.

"We're here." His voice was barely a whisper.

I could smell our next meal in an instant. Not as sweet or tantalizing as what I preferred, but it would quench the thirst we both had, at least enough to get us back home, back to our family.

"Edward, wait." My hands reached out to hold his, only to fall against dead space.

"Bella, we need to get started, I don't want to get back too late."

"I'm sorry. I'm making you miserable. I-" But I couldn't even finish before his arms were tightly around me, holding me together, keeping me from crumbling to pieces in front of him.

"It's not your fault, Bella. I made you what you are, if anyone should feel same, it should be me. I hate that I've shared this with you. It's selfish of me."

His hands were tangled in my hair, lips pressed to my forehead in a kiss. I held him even tighter, not wanting our embrace to ever stop. I pressed my lips to his, searching for forgiveness, for release. Anything to wake me from the sudden desperation we both felt.

He pulled from my arms and guided me by the hand. "We need to feed before it's too late."

---

The drive home was mellower than our ride to our hunting grounds. He held my hand and we talked about the types of things we used to talk about, before I was cursed to the same fate as he was. It was these small moments that I wished for, hoped for. These were the times when I almost felt human again, like nothing had changed.

"I was so afraid of you," Edward mused.

"That still completely baffles me. How can a vampire be afraid of an innocent, clumsy teenager?" I was laughing, it sounded foreign because it wasn't something I'd done much of in the past months.

"And therein is the reason: Innocence. Innocence that I wanted to corrupt and, also, protect. It was strange, how you both frightened and intrigued me." He appeared proud and reluctant at this recollection of memories.

"You confused me from day one, and still continue to. I really, honestly don't know how you tolerate me. I'm like a cancer." My face sunk just thinking of all the reasons he had to leave me, and barely any to stay.

The car came to a stop and he shifted it into park. He took both of my hands and waited for me to look up. "I told you I'd never leave you again, I promised you. I don't know how to make it clear enough that you understand. I love you, Bella, and I'm not going anywhere unless you ask me to. Even then, I can't promise that I'll listen. I think your stubborn ways have rubbed off on me." A small chuckle exited his lips before I pressed mine against them. His hands moved to hold the back of my neck, pressing me harder into him, his scent making my head spin. His lips moved against mine gracefully, with such precise movements. I reached for the bottom of his shirt, yanking it over his head and he broke from our kiss.

"Bella…," he breathed.

"I'm fine, Edward. I want this, I want _you_."

"I don't think we should. Not now, you aren't ready yet."

"When will I be? When? Do you even know the answer to that? I'm never ready, or good enough, or stable. I _want_ this, Edward." My hands were shaking, and the burning came back, the insatiable desire that I couldn't curb. It was the anger, it always made me thirsty.

"What's wrong?" His eyes focused on my trembling body, my tongue licking my lips. All the signs that I was about to lose control.

"I'm fine," I muttered. I was trying hard to just fight it. To not smell the beauty of aromas that were singing to my thirst. Trying to tell myself that it wasn't anything, it was an illusion. Anything to make myself stay composed, although I was sure I no longer was.

"We're going back to the woods. You didn't have enough. You just need some more. You'll be fine, after you have some more. Everything will be alright." He was trying to convince himself of this fact more than me.

Edward started the car, did a U-turn in the middle of the road and was flying back to the wooded area we'd previously hunted. If we didn't get there soon, I wasn't sure I could account for my actions. I _was_ like a cancer, one that was slowly and painfully killing Edward.


	2. Part Two

Edward and I were never more in tune with each other than when we were hunting. Even though we couldn't hear each other's thoughts, we always knew what the other needed, or meant with a smile or nod of the head. He always approached first, doing all the hard work that I wished he'd let me do. I knew he enjoyed it though, so I never fought him on it. And as I heard the loud thud that was our meal, I rushed to his side, ready to join him.

Edward was standing relaxed against a tree: A mess below his feet and not a hair out of place. "It's all yours." His eyes flickered from me to the heap at both of our feet.

I felt like a small child, my meal was prepared for me. I tried hard to hide the anger in my eyes, but Edward always saw through my pathetic attempts at a poker face.

"What is it now?" I hated the disgust in his tone. He really did sound like a father now, scolding me for not saying thank you and doing as I was told.

"It's nothing. It's just that… if you weren't going to feed, you could have let me have the fun. It's my meal, after all." I was watching the beast sprawled out in front of me; its breathing was getting shallower. I'd have pity if I didn't need it to survive. The old Bella would have had pity, but she was lost to me.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, but he wasn't as upset as he tried to portray. I could tell, it always affected his breathing. "Just feed, it'll get cold. We'll talk about it when you're done." He turned on his heels and disappeared into the woods. He never did like to watch me feed; reminded him that I really was the creature he never wanted me to be.

---

"I don't understand why you have to be so difficult about everything, Bella. Every day it is some other reason for you to throw a tantrum and pick a fight."

Oh, he'd gone too far this time. The use of the word tantrum was the last nail in the coffin. If he thought I was impossible before… "You treat me like an infant! I'm not a child, Edward. I'm nearly twenty! Old enough to vote, join the army, _get married_." I made sure to emphasize the final words, letting them hang in the air and collect dust. The blood I'd consumed felt like it was boiling under my skin.

Edward looked at my eyes cutting over to him in complete chagrin. His lips opened to speak, but closed soon after. His body language showed the confusion and anguish. If I wasn't completely frozen in rage, I would have jumped into his lap, apologized, and kissed his perfect lips. He looked altogether wounded.

I turned my glare away from him when he glided across the room and sat on the arm of my chair. I had my head in my hands, willing tears that would not come. I was choking and gasping, my body trembled.

"Everything is an argument, Bella. I'm exhausted. I can't fight you anymore." His arms pulled me towards him and I gave in. I couldn't deny my love of him, the need I still had for his closeness. We may be on the brink of a divorce, both from each other and our own sanity, but I wouldn't deny myself these last few moments.

Suddenly, he was kissing my hair, my neck, my shoulders. I looked into his topaz eyes and saw a familiar hunger. Not for blood, but for my skin and my body. A growl erupted from Edward as I was ripped from the chair and thrown onto the bed. The sound was like an earthquake, worse was when our mouths met with a loud clap like thunder. His hands were pulling at my shirt, mine were doing their best to unbutton his. I grazed my teeth down his chest as I undid the last button. He pulled me to his mouth by my hair, shoving me hard into his chiseled torso. Our bare skin pressed together, and electricity flew through my body.

I pulled from his grasp and words filled my mouth. "Edward," I mumbled. "I don't.. I don't know." I was surprised at my own voice. I _did_ know. I knew I wanted him, completely. I wanted his hands on my hips, his mouth pressed against the valley of my chest. Every part of me was aching with want.

His finger rested on my lips. "Please," was all he said before his lips were pressed against mine again. I didn't listen to the small voice in my worried mind that told me to stop. I wasn't ready for this yet, I couldn't do this, but I didn't care anymore. I'd been reckless and careless for months now; this would just be something else to add to the list.

We fell onto each other, only half undressed, but ravishing each other like teenagers. Our hands were moving up and down each others body, feeling each dip and curve. He pursued my neck, biting and licking at my most sensitive spots. I sighed and moaned, begging him.

Quickly, he pulled me up onto my knees, resting his hands on my hips. I unzipped his pants, then my own. He shoved me onto my back and practically ripped the jeans from my legs. His lips traced kisses from my neck to my hips, pausing and looking up at me, a sly look on his face. He resembled the seventeen year old boy he'd been playing for years.

It was then that I let everything slide from my mind and melt away. All I needed was his arms, his lips, his velvet touch. Everything else seemed insignificant and miles away. Our passion made everything so much clearer now. Even with all our troubles, I was still painstakingly in love with Edward.

---

We lay entangled in the bed, our eyes set only on each other. Neither of us had spoken in hours, enjoying a quiet moment together. This moment wasn't angry or sad, it was utter bliss. Or at least, all that creatures like us could manage.

His head lifted, breaking the gaze we'd shared. My eyes followed his and the burning started. The stinging pain in the back of throat rose from my chest and reached my mouth before I even realized why it was present. A fresh scent, blood had been spilled. It was close, close enough to sting my eyes. Edward's eyes darted back towards mine, he was begging without saying a word. My eyes furrowed and I tried to ignore what my body wanted.

Edward rose from the bed, pulling the clothes on that lay all over the room. He was outside and offering help to someone. I could hear the thank-yous and sighs. It was difficult to hold my breath, knowing what I was missing. The scent of blood, that a former life had been revolted by, was now the sweetest smell to my kind.

I heard Edward saying good-bye and being his perfect self. They'd fallen for his dazzling ways, just as I once had. He opened the door, eyeing my nude form. A smirk crawled its way into the corner of his mouth. "It's okay. I took care of it, love." Oh, it had been so long since he'd called me 'love'. It made my lips curl into a smile, and I took a long overdue deep breath.

"What was it?" I inquired. I didn't much care, but thought I'd make conversation.

He grimaced and sat next to me on the bed. "Just some locals. One of them tried to give me a five. It was quite humorous." He laughed and pulled me into his arms.

"It's your dazzling charm. It gets those mortals every time. I should know," I said smiling. He kissed my cheek and again took in my body, completely exposed. I wasn't ashamed, as I thought I would be. I was comfortable, in a way I'd never been before. I couldn't explain it.

"You need to put some clothes on before…," but his words trailed off when I pulled him forward into a kiss. I knew exactly how this would end, no need for details.

---

"You should have taken that side road," Edward bellowed. "We are going to get lost and if I'm not driving, I won't know how to get back."

"It's fine! I can sense it, I know we are going the right way." Edward was letting me drive, and I was completely surprised. But, I did know where we were going. I could smell the game we were hunting for, it was only a few miles away. My sense of smell was heightened due to my thirst being greater.

"You're impossible. When you give up, let me know." He'd crossed his arms and turned his face to stare out the window. It was so childlike, so juvenile. I wanted to laugh, but resisted. This is what I loved: how my own humanity had rubbed off on him.

I looked over again and could no longer hold back the laugher. He was pouting. Imagine it, Edward pouting! "You should see yourself!" I laughed even harder when he turned so I could see him. His lips were pursed and tight.

"You're so insufferably stubborn. I know you're going the wrong way, Bella. We should have been… oh, we're here." Edward hung his head in defeat and apologized with a quick kiss.

I rolled my eyes and flashed out of the car. I started running into the woods as fast as I could. I had to beat Edward this time, I just had to. I could hear him behind me, and I was sure he'd gain on me soon. Even with my increased powers, he was still faster than I was.

He grabbed my waist and we toppled to the ground. Edward was hovering over me and laughing, "Why do you continue to think you can outrun me?"

His lips met mine and I shoved him over, so I was on top. I straddled him and broke our kiss, "I guess I just think that maybe you'll let me win sometime, and quit trying to prove you're better than me." I lifted myself up and crossed my arms. I was faking my disdain, and he knew it immediately.

"Oh, c'mon. Let's go hunt. I'll let you pick." He pulled me into him and kissed my forehead before lifting us both up and taking my hand.

---

"I swear, this is the last time you drive. You crawl at a snail's speed," he joked.

"This is how _normal_ people drive, you know. Not everyone whips around mountain roads at one hundred and five."

"It just takes so long. Wait, where are we?," he asked while looking out at the unfamiliar surroundings.

I took a long look and was sure that we had passed a place like this, but not exactly. It smelt different, alive somehow.

"Bella, you need to turn around," Edward snarled, aware of something that I wasn't.

"It's fine, I'll find a side road and turn around in a second."

"No, Bella. You need to turn around right now," he snapped. It made me shudder.

I felt the burn and slammed on the brakes. I was out of the car and running lightning fast through the darkened streets. A roar escaped my lips as I picked from the array of delicious scents. I could taste them, they were on my lips.

In the distance, I heard music playing and children laughing. There must be a celebration and how_ convenient_, I thought. I couldn't get there fast enough; the burning was building and slowing me down. Even though I knew I'd regret this decision later, I didn't care. I longed for fresh blood. We'd not had much luck in the forest and I was still very thirsty. It was calling to me and begging to spill. Just a little longer, I was nearly there.

I caught the scent of a man, he was young and athletic. He would be a challenge and a treat. Thoughts ran through my head that I couldn't ever express to Edward. How when my prey ran from my gleaning teeth, the blood always tasted better. I always let them get a head start, knowing that I'd catch them soon enough. The scents they exuded when they thought they were getting away were intoxicating.

I could see my prey, he was just ahead and I'd pluck him from the group of people without anyone knowing where he'd gone. So close, so close. I lurched forward, but something pulled me back. I was clawing and screaming, but the stone arms wouldn't let me go.

Edward was dragging me back to the car, cursing and muttering under his breath. My arms and legs were flailing around and snapping at each warm body we passed. I couldn't control it; the blood was making my head spin. I'd never been near so many people before, not since I'd been turned. I was unaware of myself, didn't have any proper control of my actions. It was _sensational_.

I felt Edward push my body into the passenger's side of his Volvo and dare me to move. I wanted to rush from the car, but fought it. The allure wasn't as strong now, and I was finally receptive of Edward's scowl. He slammed the door shut with more force than necessary and I was surprised it didn't fall off the frame. He circled to the driver's side, taking a moment before he entered the car. I didn't look at his face; I hated to see just how much I'd disappointed him.

---

"That was too close, Bella! I can't believe you'd take that chance. What were you even _thinking_? I wish for once you'd listen to me when I ask something of you!" Edward was yelling. It was a very rare occasion. I could hear the low growls in his chest. He was doing all he could to not shake me senseless.

"I'm… sorry, Edward." My weak voice was barely a murmur. I was ashamed of making Edward this angry at me. He never yelled, especially not at me. I _really_ felt like a small child being scolded now. I deserved it, though.

"That… that… Jesus, Bella. I didn't know what to do! I wanted to strangle you for attempting that. I don't _understand_ you anymore." He left the cabin, slamming the door as he exited.

I fell to the floor, clutching my stomach, pulling myself back together. Please let this not be it. I couldn't stand to be left alone. I'd rather be dead; dead than alone for all eternity without Edward. All I could do was curl into a ball and choke back at the stinging pain in my chest: devoid of a heart to break, but hurting all the same.


	3. Part Three

I felt a presence in the room, but it wasn't Edward. I'd know if he was here. I could feel him in a way that I hadn't before I was turned. It was like an ache, and it only got worse until I met his eyes and felt his arms around me. This wasn't Edward, this wasn't anyone that I wanted to see. My broken body lay on the floor, awaiting a prince that wouldn't come. I was alone, and he was gone.

"Bella. C'mon, get up"

Not his velvet voice. The words ran together, I heard only pitches and tone. Not his touch, it wasn't soft and careful. He still treated me like a porcelain doll even when I could rip his arms from me in an instant. I was still his fragile beauty, but no, no longer. I was only a memory now.

"You need to feed, Bella. It will help you gain your strength. You can't lay here for eternity."

Yes I could. And it would be exactly what I deserved. To suffer here on the floor of an unfamiliar location. To ache with thirst until I lost track of all time. I deserved more than this, I didn't deserve the pleasure of living. I was more than a monster, whatever that would be.

A door slammed and my head looked up to see his face. He wasn't really here, but I could see him clearly. This wasn't reality, it was a delusion. Of course, I'd welcomed them before, no different now. They comforted me when he realized just how much he loathed me. No, not loathe. I couldn't believe that.

"I know you hear me, Bella. Get _up_."

What a beautiful delusion.

---

"Bella!" I was pulled from my quiet meditation, but didn't believe the voice I'd heard. More of my delusions… It had to be.

"Bella, please!"

Arms were shaking me forcefully and I stared into his flawless face. He was smiling, all his brilliant teeth shimmering white. I smiled and cradled his face in my hands. Had he always been this beautiful, or had my memory stored away a better version of him?

"Bella, can you hear me? What's wrong?" His eyes looked concerned and his smile faded. No, Edward, please keep smiling. I need this, _please_.

He pulled me into his arms, stroking my hair and kissing me softly. I wasn't sure if this was real or a fantasy, it felt real. His touch was light and familiar, I was sure I could hear his breathing. Of course this was a delusion, it couldn't be real.

"I wish you'd say something, _anything_," he whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes, letting his breath tickle my neck. I no longer slept, but this felt like the best dream I'd ever had.

---

It seemed like days had past. I didn't know when my mind would right itself, so the comfort of his arms was something I couldn't leave. He whispered to me, telling me he loved me.

"Bella, are you still convinced that I'm a dream? You know that you're a vampire now, you don't sleep? It's practically impossible for this to be a dream."

I looked back at Edward, our noses slightly touching. "Just… let me enjoy this."

"Edward, she's fine. She'll realize that this isn't a dream in a few moments. Let her be happy," Alice said in her singsong voice. I'd heard her earlier, but that wasn't real… was it?

"Want me to help or…," Jasper's voice was quiet and slow. "It might help, but I'm not sure."

"It will be fine, honey. Stop worrying so much. She's going to come out of it in about a minute, anyway."

Edward's hold on me was tighter, his lips kissing the top my ear, muttering he loved me. I was going to miss him so incredibly when he was gone.

Suddenly, I closed my eyes and the glow that had been over everything in the room was removed. I blinked twice and it was still the same. What had happened? Was it over? No! No! Not yet, I wasn't ready yet! I felt arms hugging me tight and pushed away from them, staring into glittering caramel eyes.

"What is this… what happened?" I screamed. As soon as the rage filled me with warmth, a calming wave hit me hard. I nearly lost my balance and fell back into a wall.

"That was a bit much, Jasper," Alice hissed.

"Bella, look at me. Please, just look at me." I met his eyes and instantly felt at home. I wrapped my arms around his neck and took in his scent.

"Oh, Edward! You didn't leave me. I know you promised, but I just knew you had. I knew it and I couldn't breathe or move. Edward, I love you." I was in a trance, the calming effect was wearing off and letting my euphoria bleed through. I pulled from his neck and littered his face and neck with kisses.

"We'll go for a walk, won't we Jasper? The scenery is gorgeous up here," Alice laughed slightly as she took Jasper's hand and led him out the door. I wasn't paying them much attention, I had Edward. Nothing else mattered right now.

"Alice wanted to give us some privacy," Edward chuckled. He reached up to hold my face as his head cocked slightly to the left. I couldn't read his expression. It wasn't one I recognized.

"What is it?" I giggled.

"I'll never figure you out, Bella. We'll live for decades and centuries and I'll never have a hold on what to expect next. You're an enigma that I'd love to solve, but couldn't if I tried."

What came from my lips next surprised me. It was something I would only think about and never express aloud, especially not to Edward. "It feels like my whole life has been a dream since I met you. At times, I find myself pinching at the skin on my arms, willing myself to wake up…," I tried to speak again, but hung my head. His arms held me even tighter while his lips brushed my forehead.

"You're not the only one that feels as if they're dreaming," he noted.

I looked up and smiled, meeting his gaze. Surely nothing could be wrong in a world where both of us could be this happy. Even just in each other's arms, appreciating a closeness that only we could achieve. Maybe this _was_ a dream.

Our mouths met as we toppled to the bed. His hands pulled at the waistband of my jeans roughly. I laughed and slapped his hand. The look on his face resembled that of a disciplined child. I kissed the corner of his open lips and whispered, "Sometimes a lady likes a little romance, Edward."

"Well then, m'lady," he announced valiantly, "you shall have your romance!" He nodded, closing his eyes. My lips pursed before a loud laugh escaped my mouth. I leaned forward so his arms could slowly ease my shirt over my head. He laid kisses down my neck and shoulders. I bit my lips and leaned my head backward to hide my rising pleasure.

His hands were like ribbons, smoothing over my marble skin with deliberate softness. His fingers were at my hips and I bit down hard on my lips to stifle a gasp. He sensed my arousal and only teased more. His tongue traced the grooves of my stomach, stopping at the top of my jeans. He looked up to meet my eyes, and I was begging. I couldn't speak. If I had, it would come out shrill and desperate. He smiled at my pain, my silent hunger for gratification.

Edward's nimble fingers undid the button and zipper of my jeans, slipping his hands so close to where my pain was the worst. He raised himself from the bed, ridding himself of his own clothes. He lay back down beside me, and undid the front clasp of my bra. It fell to my sides and he lifted my back to retrieve it. We were completely bare, skin on skin and electricity running sharp through my veins.

"You're beautiful, Bella," he said soft enough for only us to hear. I was shy, suddenly and he sensed it. Edward pulled my arms back from my chest, kissing my breasts with a feather-light touch.

I pulled him to my lips to kiss the top of his head. He laid his head on my chest and quietly sighed. I knew his thoughts, even without hearing them. We both missed the loud thumps my vacant chest once made. He never said anything about my former self, never compared who I was now to the girl I'd been months and months ago. I was sure he knew of the ache I had for the familiar ghost that haunted my thoughts.

"I miss it too," I breathed. His face darted to meet mine. There was panic in his eyes, afraid that I was upset or saddened. I smiled slowly and kissed his eye lids, "It's okay to miss something that's gone."

There was pain in his expression. I never thought it was possible for him to miss my human form more than I did, but I knew in this moment that he did. I wanted to comfort him, tell him that this was okay. Our grief for a memory was perfectly normal and healthy. But who was I to talk about normal _or_ healthy?

He lifted himself to rest atop my body and kissed me with complete abandon. Our lips pressed hard against each other, with intimacy that only we understood. He broke our kiss and kissed my jaw line, making his way to my ear.

"Okay?" he asked. His inquiry into my permission made the lust that much worse. I parted my legs, letting him fall between them. I breathed a yes into his neck, and hitched my legs around his hips.

He entered me carefully, lingering inside before withdrawing and pushing forward again. My hips pushed into his instinctively. His rhythm was gradual and meticulous at first. He purposely hesitated between thrusts, making me beg for more. My fingers clawed at his back, but not breaking skin. Soon, his pace was hurried, and we both gasped for air we didn't need.

My teeth sunk into his neck, the passion had become too much. I couldn't control my urges and we were barely hanging on to reality. My eyes clenched closed as I reached my peak, Edward moaned softly and collapsed on top of me. He kissed me and rolled to his side.

I heard him laugh and snuggled into his arms, "What?" I asked.

His hand went to his neck, "This is going to be hard to cover up." I'd already forgotten, I was so lost in the moment. I barely remembered the moments leading to our shared satisfaction.

"I'm so sorry, Edward! I didn't…," He kissed my trembling lips.

"It's alright, Bella. If I'd minded, I would have stopped. I consider it a love bite, worth the scar." His fingers traced my smile before drawing my face into his. We shared a few short kisses and relaxed against each other.

I felt incredibly tired, although I knew I didn't need sleep. I closed my eyes and listened to Edward's breathing. I timed mine with his and reached for his hand. I wove my fingers between his and did my best to collect my scattered thoughts.

Edward kissed my hair, taking in my scent. Then, he lifted my chin, so our eyes met. "I love you," he whispered before kissing my pursed lips.

"I love you, too."

---

Edward and I had just finished hunting down our clothes from around the room when Alice and Jasper walked in. Alice had a knowing smile and Jasper wouldn't make eye contact. I was embarrassed, of course, but Edward continued like it was business as usual.

"Are you two going to stay for a while?" Edward asked. I could tell by his tone that he was hoping they left as soon as possible. I could guess why and it made me giggle under my breath.

"Oh, we'll be out of your hair after I have a talk with Bella," Alice mused. She stood, grabbed my hand and we were outside before I knew what was happening. "Start running, keep up with me," she ordered. I abided and followed Alice's pixie-like frame through the mountainous terrain.

We stopped in a lightly wooded area, perched on the top of a small hill. Wildflowers grew in patches at our feet, while trees leaned into the small opening. I was reminded of mine and Edward's meadow.

"What did you need to talk to me about, Alice?" I sat down on the soft grass, and patted the space beside me for her to rest. She shook her head and crossed her arms. This wasn't going to be a pleasant chat.

Alice met my eyes and there was genuine concern across her face. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but was afraid of the answer. What had she seen? Surely I wasn't going to slip up again, not after this last time. I thought I was getting stronger. I was sure of it.

Alice took a deep breath and started to talk in her quick-paced, melodic voice, "Bella, you need to work harder to get yourself under control. You're going to kill someone in three days if you don't curb your thirst," Alice's voice was as even as she could make it. I sensed her pain, it was drawn all over her petite face, "You need to hunt more than once a week, try every other day. And you need to socialize a little. Not much, not enough to tempt you, but enough to grow accustomed to being amongst the living. You can do this, Bella. If I've ever had more faith in a person to do well, it's you. I've seen what you're capable of, and I want you to be around for that. I want to see you through the good times, as well as the bad. Promise me, okay? Please promise me. I want to leave here knowing that you're making an effort."

Alice's voice broke near the end and I leapt to my feet to hold her. Alice was the closest thing I had to a sister. She'd always believed in me, even when I'd slipped up in Forks. She never doubted that I could adhere to the strict Cullen diet. As much as I wanted to do this for Edward, I wanted just as badly to please Alice as well.

"I'll try, Alice. I'll really, really try. I'm sorry. I haven't been giving it as much as I should have. I can do better. I _promise_ I'll do better."

That was all she needed to hear. She hugged me as tight as ever and took my hand. She broke into a run and I followed close behind, whirlwind of thoughts in tow.


	4. Part Four

Alice and Jasper left soon after returning from their walk. Alice hugged me tighter than normal and whispered for me to be good. I nodded against her shoulder and could hear Edward behind us growing anxious. I was sure he was aware what Alice and I had talked about, and even if he wasn't he was knowledgeable about something and that made me nervous.

When they drove away, I felt a lump develop in my throat. Edward noticed my change of behavior and put his arm around my waist.

"Let's go inside, love." He kissed the top of my head and guided me to the front door.

As we stepped inside, the burning started. I was worrying myself to hunger and I had to stop. While I wanted a distraction from the talk we were going to have, I was afraid of my thirst. I knew that in three days, I would take a life. This knowledge made me wince. I closed my eyes and tried to push the thought from my weary mind.

"Do you want to go hunting… _Bella_?" Edward flashed to my side, stroking my hair and whispering in my ear, "Ride it out and we'll go hunting, okay? I promise. Just hold on."

I could do this. I knew that I could. I tried to think of things that had nothing to do with my aching thirst and the blood I craved so intensely. As I pressed my lids closed, my first thought was seeing Edward in the sunlight for the first time. How his skin sparkled and threw rainbows across the crisp air. I saw his glowing face, alight with a smile reserved for me. I never knew that such beautiful things existed, at least not until that afternoon.

The fire that crept into my throat earlier was gone, replaced by a pleasant calm that overtook my entire body. I looked at Edward and he was meeting my gaze with bewilderment.

"I…I'm fine," I stammered. I stood and turned to face Edward, "Let's go hunting." He smiled and took my hand.

---

"So, what was that back at the cabin?" Edward asked, "If I didn't know better, I'd say that you pulled a Jasper." His laugh tried to hide his worry, but failed.

I didn't know what had happened. All I'd done was go through some old human memories, the ones that I had still been able to hold on to. They all involved Edward, though. I barely remembered how Renee looked when she smiled, or how Charlie's voice sounded. Edward had told me that human memories fade, but I never thought it would be so quickly.

"I… am not entirely sure," I said, my voice faltering with confusion. "I closed my eyes, remembered when I first saw you, and everything just melted away. When I opened my eyes, it was like nothing was ever wrong."

Edward's eyebrow cocked slightly and he smiled crookedly, the way I love and rarely saw anymore. "You thought of me, and calmed yourself, correct?"

"Uh, yeah. Sounds a lot more supernatural when you say it."

Edward looked away, concentrating more than normal at my response. He looked back at me and his face was twisted into confusion. I was worried; he looked like he was in pain. I reached out and touched his face, but he pushed my hand away.

"What is it?" My eyes narrowed in concern, pressing him harder for what was going on inside his head, "Edward, tell me. What's wrong? You're scaring me."

He met my eyes and tried to speak. As soon as his lips would part, he'd look away and shut his eyes tight. If I'd been sitting with Alice, I would have swore he was having some kind of vision. He was reacting the same way she did when something huge was shown to her.

"Edward, please," I begged.

"Bella. Stop thinking… for just a minute. Think of a white room, no windows, no doors. Just a white room. Close your eyes and put yourself in that white room." He pinched the bridge of his nose. What had I done? He was angry now, angry at _me_. Even though his voice was no higher than a whisper, I could sense his anguish.

I did as he asked. I pictured my old bedroom – what I remembered of it – and started to mentally strip the room. First were the walls, then the floors. I removed the window that Edward used at the doorway to our nights together. I smiled at that memory. But, I quickly pushed it out and removed the door, all the furniture. Soon all that was left was me inside this vast white room. I'd done just as he asked, and was awoken from my vision when he touched my arm.

"Bella, I heard you thoughts," he said as calmly as possible. His eyes were so upset; they were losing the light color that our recent hunt had given him. I was searching his face, trying to judge how I should respond when he pinched the bridge of his nose yet again. Oh, he heard my thoughts now. Oh my… he… he is hearing me now…

"Yes, I hear you now. Stop it. You move at a mile a second. It's really hard to keep up."

My mouth fell open and I tried not to think about what I normally thought about. I suddenly filled my thoughts with my favorite flower, and how I loved the way the air smelt when it was sunny. I recited my favorite part of _Romeo and Juliet_. I didn't know what else to do now, I was completely exposed.

"That is even more annoying. I'm trying so hard to not hear you, but it's like you're screaming at the top of your lungs. I'd assume it was a proximity, but I don't think it is." Edward's fingers were rubbing his temples and I wanted to comfort him. It was my shrill, screaming voice that was making him get, what I could only assume was, a migraine. Do vampires _get_ migraines?

"Edward, how… how can you hear me? And why now? I don't understand," I said as softly as possible. He noticed this and smiled.

"Bella, you're not giving me a migraine. I'm fine. It's just… overwhelming. I don't know if I like it or not." At this, Edward rose to his feet, shaking his head when I started to do the same, "I'm going to walk for a bit, just stay here. Don't go anywhere, and don't go back to the cabin. Just sit here and try not to think too much."

I tried to go to the white room again, but my thoughts filled it up until it split in half and there were a sand and water all around me. I explored, trying to keep everything very simple. I didn't want to give anything away. I had to keep control of my thoughts. I walked down the beach, taking my shoes off. The surf tickled my toes and I looked out at the ocean. The waves were quietly pushing the cool water onto the shore. I could feel the warm sun on my skin. I looked down and to my surprise, my skin was honey brown and littered with freckles. I opened my eyes and Edward was sitting directly in front of me.

"You blocked me out," he murmured. He seemed disappointed, but a little relieved as well.

"What do you mean I blocked you out?"

"I saw what you saw, the beach and your thoughts about trying to not think about what you _usually_ thought about; which has me _very curious,_ by the way. But, then it just went blank, like it always had been. It was really odd. So, I thought I'd gotten too far away, but I hadn't. I came back and watched you. You still had your eyes closed, and were swaying slightly, so I knew you were still in your head. But… I didn't hear or see anything." Edward met my gaze and closed his eyes, "Ah, there we go. Why are you so worried about me getting a headache? It's impossible. You're not _hurting_ me. Stop comparing yourself to Jane. This is nothing like her power at all." Edward opened his eyes, "And the screen is out again."

I couldn't help but laugh. It was like my thoughts were a bad connection, and Edward was wiggling the antenna around to get a better signal. "Lose the reception again, hmm?" I smiled widely at this thought.

Edward could hear me, but only if I wasn't aware that he could. Or, maybe it had something to do with my thought process. If I was purposely trying to think of something, he would be in the dark. I wanted to test this out, but I could see that he was frustrated with this newfound ability of mine. Was it an ability, though? It didn't feel like one.

"This is very difficult," he said begrudgingly. "You'd think that, I'd be used to it. But now that I've had a glimpse at what I've been missing, I just want more." His smile grew and I wrapped myself around him.

"I'd like to experiment, if you're up to it. I want to know why and the only way to figure that out is to run some tests." I was more excited about this than I should have been, but I wondered if this was _my_ power. If I could block out vampires that could read minds, that would be an incredible gift to have. But, the option to let them inside, if I needed it, would be a nice change. The possibilities were endless and the idea of this new discovery was making me glow with anticipation.

"It is something else entirely to hear your thoughts. It's like a whole separate side to you. You edit a lot when you speak." Edward kissed my head and hugged me tight.

My first thoughts were of Alice, and how I was sure she knew about this new development. I wondered if she'd known when she visited. If she had, though, she would have been bubbling over to tell me. I thought back to our conversation before I rushed it out of my head and to the white room. Edward shifted behind me so he could look at my face.

"We'll be talking about that later," he said sternly. He lifted himself from the ground, holding my hands as he did. I looked in his eyes and I knew that this new information was not going to be well-received.


	5. Part Five

Edward and I sat across from each other, him trying to read my mind, and me doing my best to do whatever it was I'd done before. I concentrated on his hair, always in complete disarray, no matter how many times he tried to style it. I noticed the barely visible highlights, all the subtle streaks of blonde and red.

"There you go, you did it!" Edward exclaimed. He sounded more proud of me than he ever had. I smirked and patted myself on the back. "What did you do?"

I looked down at my hands, trying to pick at my fingers, but realizing it wasn't possible; one of my habits that I had yet to shake. "I surveyed your hair, actually." I tried so hard not to laugh at how silly this sounded aloud.

"My… hair?" Edward laughed. I hit his shoulder and he apologized, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.. but, really? My hair? That's what blocks out my mind reading? If I'd known that…" he boasted, running his slender fingers through his tousled locks. I couldn't help but laugh at his newfound pride.

"I still don't understand _why_. I feel like it is staring me right in the face, but I can't see it. It's like I know the answer, but it isn't showing itself." I twisted my face into intense thought. Edward noticed and gracefully sat behind me, rubbing my shoulders and kissing my neck.

"You don't have to figure it all out right now, Bella. We have time, we're immortal after all." His hands crept curiously low and under my shirt. I knew that he was attempting to distract me, keep me from worrying too much.

But I wanted to think, I needed to live inside my own head for a while, just a few hours. "Edward, please." I heard him lift from the bed, drifting slowly to the armchair across the room. His expression was wounded and his body language was showing all signs of rejection. "It's not that I don't want to, but I need to think. Give me some alone time."

At that, Edward grimaced and exited to the front room. I leaned back on the bed, letting my eyes close and my thoughts to run free. I _would_ figure this out today, no matter what it took.

---

I didn't know how long I'd been living only inside my own mind, but Edward's touch woke me and I noticed that the dark of night was now gone. The faint light from the window beside the bed made both of skin sparkle and throw rainbows around the room. I smiled, still amazed at this aspect of who we were. Edward knew my thoughts, and probably had been spying on them the entire time. His lips parted, letting his brilliant teeth shine, a smile that was both devious and knowing.

"It is so complex now, I feel like I'm breaking a promise when I listen in to your thoughts." I looked into his eyes, seeing the light color that our recent hunt had given them. Seeing the slight flush of his cheeks, I couldn't keep my lips away from his: I wanted, so badly, to feel them against mine. He reached up, putting his hands on either side of my face. It was like falling, kisses we shared never were alike: always breathtaking, always overwhelming, and always beautiful.

His arms wrapped around me, pulling me into him. I could feel his body, chiseled muscles and hard skin, pressing into my own with a fierce intensity. He was distracting me again, but I'd let him get away with it for a moment or two. I liked our closeness; it seemed to fill the room with warmth, although neither of us could feel it physically. It was emotional warmth, one that left us glowing.

"Edward, Edward… stop." My voice seemed to cut through him like razors, his continuing attempts at romance were failing, and I was sure he thought that I hated him, but I just had so much to figure out. He wanted to relax me, but this wouldn't do that at all. He had to know that.

He took my hands, holding them softly, as if I was a doll. My eyes met his and I saw the worry and panic written all over his perfect face. "I don't want you to get so involved with this… _project_, that you…" I put my fingers to his lips, letting a small hush escape my own.

"You worry too much. Everything is fine." I hoped that he wouldn't hear what I was really thinking, but suddenly his voice erupted like lava, covering me in confusion. "Nothing I do seems to be enough, I can't do anything that you immediately dismiss. What am I to think? You react to me as if I'm a monster…"

I stared at his face and his lips _weren't moving_. If my heart still kept a rhythm, it would have pumped out of my chest. _Oh, what have I done now?, _he thought, _ She looks horrified. She isn't breathing, she's hungry. We'll go hunting._ My eyes were wider than they had ever been. I was hearing Edward's thoughts? Impossible. How? This isn't making sense. Now his eyes were wide, and we both probably looked odd: both sitting in front of the other, hands entangled, eyes wide as saucers, without a movement.

_You… hear me? How? Why…,_ Edward's mind was racing and I couldn't keep up. My thoughts in his head, and now his in mine. What was going on? What kind of freak vampire power did I acquire?

"Don't… don't think. Talk." The room felt like it was spinning. I heard so many voices, all the voices that Edward heard every minute of every day. It felt like they were crashing against me; as if I was the shore of the beach, and they were the hostile waves from a tropical storm. My fingers pinched the bridge of my nose, something so Edward-like that it surprised me. I couldn't hear anything but voices, millions of them, screaming and crying and laughing. I didn't want this. It was too much, and too soon.

"Bella, look at me. Look at my eyes. Focus, ok. Just focus." Edward whispered, knowing exactly what I was hearing inside my own head. I opened my eyes, but the cacophony of thoughts made me shut them again. Edward's gentle hands were holding my face close to his, his lips on the tip of my nose. "Just open your eyes, and focus on me, only me."

I took a deep breath, knowing it was more habit than necessity. My eyes opened, and met his instantly. I tried my best to take in each detail of his face. Focusing on him, only him, just as he had asked me to. I felt calmer, and the voices started to slow and lower in volume. In only a few short moments, it was as if it had never happened. Edward smiled, kissing me roughly.

"If there was anything that I didn't wish upon you, it was my own power. It's still difficult for me to cope with, and I've had years to cull it," Edward's voice was sterner now, taking on a solemn tone, "I don't know if I understand what's happening, but I hope, for your sake, that this isn't your power. It's a tough burden to bear." Edward leaned his head onto my shoulder, a vulnerable position, something that wasn't much like him.

Suddenly, I thought back to the day before. How I had been able to calm myself in a way that even Edward had described as 'Jasper-like' and it was like in cartoons, when the light bulb shoots up and lights up over the main character's head. A sudden burst of ideas shot into my head, but it was all so unclear. What if I could leech powers from other vampires? It was the only theory that made sense. I'd been able to use Jasper's power when he and Alice were surely only moments from our cabin. And maybe I had just tapped into Edward's power, but why now? Why was all of this happening now and not before? All of the Cullens had said their powers came to them after their turning. And what about my blocking of Edward's power against me? Was this part of my power? Too many questions, and I was sure Edward heard everything.

Edward's face was still against my neck, and if I'd not known better, I would have assumed he was sleeping. His eyes were closed, and his breathing had slowed to nearly a stand-still. I lifted his face from my shoulder, cupping his jaw in my hands. I let everything rush to my head, tilting my head, begging him to hear what I was thinking. I wanted to see if my speculations were right.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked, his eyebrows arched and confused. A smile crept across my face, and I knew that he would have given anything to hear my exact thoughts at this moment.

I leapt off the bed and rushed to the phone. Just as I was going to call Alice, the silver phone on the coffee table rang and buzzed. I was delighted. I knew this was Alice, and that she had seen what I had figured out.

"Hello, Alice!" I practically screamed.

"Bella! You're alright! Ok, I was worried. I saw, well, I didn't see anything, actually. It was like before, when you'd go across the treaty line. I thought that something had happened." Alice's voice was panicked, but quiet. And I was so perplexed by this information, that the phone fell from my hand. Edward was there to catch it, putting it to his ear.

"Hello… oh. Hi, Alice. No, everything's fine," he paused, listening to Alice. I wanted to know what had happened, why she hadn't seen me or Edward. "Ok, we'll call later. No, it's fine. Ok. Bye."

Edward's gaze was nearly as abashed as mine was. We both looked at each other like strangers would, trying to take in each other. I wasn't sure what to say, or think. I was in shock, and thought Edward might have been too.

"Bella, what's happening?" Edward's voice was strained, and tight. My eyes were fluttering from him to the phone in his hand, to the light filtering through the blinds. I couldn't keep my mind on any one thought long enough to put anything together. He took my arms, shaking me slightly, "Bella. Something is wrong. Tell me." But I couldn't, I didn't know what was wrong. I couldn't pull myself together to respond or give him hope of an answer.

"Edward… I… I… don't know what's wrong with me." I collapsed to the floor, folding into myself, letting my head rest against my knees. I still was not used to my inability to cry, it was something I missed in times like these. Knowing that it would be a form of release, but all I could do was pound my head with my fists, cursing under my breath.

Edward lifted me into his arms, cradling me like a small child. My head fell onto his stone shoulder, wishing for some type of calm.

Without warning, everything clicked into place. I finally understood. My mind was going at lightning speed as I felt Edward lowering my onto the bed, resting next to me and holding me with ease. I turned to face him, smiling ear to ear. He leaned back from me, almost afraid but I knew it was caution.

"I get it," I beamed, "I know what my power is. I think I do, at least." I sat up, crossing my legs and clapping my hands in excitement. Edward didn't know how to react. "I think I can block out other powers. But! I also think I can, use other vampires' powers too." Edward's mouth opened to respond, but I quieted him and continued with my realization.

"You remember before we went hunting, how I was able to calm myself, like Jasper would have? You said it was as if I had 'pulled a Jasper', remember? Well, I did! I did pull a Jasper! I used his power before he got too far from me. And I think that is when my power broke through and the block that was on my mind broke as well. That's why you could hear my thoughts after we fed. But, I have the ability to block you out, and I think I've just about figured that out, like now, you can't hear me can you? But I can hear everything you're thinking. This is marvelous!" My enthusiasm was bubbling over; I could feel myself shaking with anticipation at trying out this new power. Edward, however, didn't look as thrilled, and I knew he wasn't from his thoughts.

_This seems too good to be true, personally, _Edward thought quietly, _I understand blocking others' powers, since Bella had some of our kind's powers blocked during her human existence, but the sharing of powers with other vampires. This worries me, I wish she knew how dangerous this could be._

_It isn't dangerous, Edward! Not at all! It's glorious!, _I thought, allowing Edward to hear,_ Think of what I'll be able to accomplish now! Anyone we encounter, I can tap into his or her powers and use them for our benefit. This is perfect; this is what the Volturi meant! I'm an asset, Edward, not a nuisance._

Edward's head shook, and his eyes fell from my gaze. There was disappointment in his voice, the one in his head, begging me to let him have a few moments. I watched him walk from the bedroom and winced when the front door slammed shut.

---

Edward returned hours later, with his hand in front of his face and telling me that he didn't like having me inside his head. I wanted to call him a hypocrite, but resisted the urge. He had no way of knowing if I was listening or not, and I was sure that all the years he'd been in other people's minds, he'd never thought to protect his own. The way all of the Cullens' had to hide their true feelings and thoughts when Edward was around, was something he'd have to embrace as well. I would have to, as well, but I had the option of blocking him out, which worked half the time I tried. I felt like I'd wronged him, but didn't know what I could do to make things better.

Edward threw the cell phone at me, and I caught it with a grace my former self couldn't have. "Call Alice," Edward barked. I forced a smile and nodded. I went to exit the room, letting Edward hear that I wanted to be alone for a bit. He adjusted himself in the chair, showing his distaste for my new ability. I let the door close loudly, stomping out of the cabin.

I dialed the familiar phone number, waiting for Alice's singsong voice, but got Esme's, "Hello?" I wanted to ask for Alice, but felt that I needed to talk to Esme more.

"Oh, Esme. I don't know what to do. Edward hates me and I haven't done anything wrong. I got my power, and I can read his mind and he doesn't like it. He won't talk to me. He just growls and I… I think he hates me." My words spilled from my mouth like water, all slurring together and coated in worry.

"Bella, Bella, dear. He doesn't hate you, not in the least. He's going to have to adjust. It's a lot to take in, and Edward doesn't deal well with change," Esme's motherly voice was just enough to calm my nerves. "And what power do you have? Alice keeps trying to see you, and can't. She thinks something is wrong. Well, we all do."

I bit my lip, wishing I could do it hard enough for blood to spill and pain to ebb through my body. However, pain wasn't something I'd come across so easily now. I almost welcomed it, wanting to feel _something_. "I can block out other powers," I said flatly. Esme gasped and I continued before she said anything else, "and I can… borrow powers from other vampires, I think. That one I'm still not sure about." It hurt how easily all this seeped from my mouth, all this knowledge that had taken me hours and hours to come to terms with, was so easy to dispense. I tried to hold back my sadness, as well as she could to Esme.

"Bella, this is, this is good news! That you have your power, you've waited so long. I can see how it would make Edward uneasy, and I'm sure it will take some getting used to, as I said before, but everything will work out," Esme's voice was calm and reassuring, like a mother's voice should be. "Just give him some time, he's stubborn, you of all people should know that." I smiled at Esme's words.

"I know, I know. I had better get back inside. Tell Alice I'll call her later, I need to talk to Edward." Esme offered her love and support, and assured me that this was a good development, and to not be worried. I agreed, but my nerves were shot, I couldn't take much more of Edward's sulking.

I closed the phone, looking at it like it would ring again. I was stalling, putting off the talk Edward and I needed to have. And my thoughts drifted to Alice and how anxious she must be.

Naturally, this led to the talk we'd had and how Edward and I had yet to bring it up to each other. With this newest turn of events, I was certain that we would need to clear many things up. Top of the list would be what Alice had suggested, and I dreaded this topic so much.

I gathered myself as best I could, lifted my hand to the door and watched it pull without any effort. Edward was staring at me livid. I blinked hard and tried to speak. He hushed my words and kissed me hard.

"We need to talk about Alice's vision," he said firmly. "And then we'll talk more about the most recent developments." His tone of voice was icy and scared me slightly. Slowly, I was losing all hope I had of this being a positive conversation.

Edward reached for my hand, looking our fingers curled around each other's palms. "I love you, you know I do." I nodded, afraid to hear anything else he had to say. We entered the cabin and I feared that my new power might be the end of the only thing that held me together.


End file.
